Have you ever called someone and they did not return your call, or given a gift and not received a thank you? Perhaps you invited someone to go with you to an event, but they declined by giving a reason you found hard to believe? Your interpretation may have been that they didnʼt like the gift, or they donʼt like your company, but these feelings are usually false and unsubstantiated. You may start to feel uncertain, angry or unhappy – but for all the wrong reasons.

From time to time, weʼve all been guilty of getting the wrong idea about a person. How we perceive things becomes our reality. At this point we can make the decision to let this become a negative feeling that is going to bring us down, or shake it off and focus on what is really going on and turn it into something positive.

We seem to automatically turn things in to a negative interpretation. I am surprised at how much unhappiness we needlessly assign ourselves by assuming a negative attitude. It doesnʼt have to be that way. We can learn to catch ourselves making these assumptions, stop, assess the meaning of what is really happening and ask ourselves: What has really happened? How can I turn this into positive energy and not feel inadequate and frustrated? And then ask yourself, “What am I really looking for today?”

I was due to give a presentation to a new client regarding our services. As I walked into the facility, I saw someone looking at me. I automatically thought to myself, “Does this suit look right? Do my shoes match? What – is my hair standing straight up?” This is often what people have a tendency to do – draw conclusions and take it to the worst-case scenario.

So as I sat there waiting for my introduction, I told myself, “I looked in the mirror this morning before I left and I looked great. I am here to sell a service that I truly believe in, and I feel confident about my knowledge of our services.” I decided to change my interpretation of what I initially presumed “the look” meant. This was NOT the time to lose confi dence. I actually convinced myself to think that the person that “looked” at me was simply admiring my suit.

After leaving that presentation, I stopped by another clinic to see an employee. A staff member from the facility commented on how my suit complemented my eye color. I smiled, thanked her for the compliment and knew that my doubts about my appearance were unfounded. I felt warmed by the compliment and basked in the glow of confidence.

There are steps you can use to create a positive reality:

• If you feel that someone says/ does something negative, stop, take a deep breath, and think of what was said or done.

• Think about your short and long-term goals and how negativity might affect them.

• Re-evaluate what was said or done and try to figure out how you can use this situation in a positive manner and not bring yourself down.

• If you do find out that it was a negative statement/or action, deal with it when the time is appropriate.

Most of the time these feelings of inadequacy are not justified, have no significance, and are a result of our own insecurities. We need to let go of the negativity and strive for optimism. If we allow these negative feelings to continue to pile up day after day, weʼll have a very unhappy existence. Learn to look at the bright side of things! Itʼs a decision we can make every day and it will have a huge impact on how we perceive everything – and everyone – around us.